Some women live their whole childhood wanting to be married with children when they grow up. They dream of a sweet little face looking up at them and calling them "mommy". They can't wait for a baby shower, to rock their baby to sleep and watch them grow through the various stages of childhood.
And some women don't.
Both women should be validated, loved and supported.
Personally, the question "do you want to have children?" makes me cringe - not for myself really, but for the countless women out there that are desperately trying to have children and can't for whatever reason. It's not a BAD question, just unnecessary (in my opinion). This is a deeply personal question and one that should be asked with love and a heap ton of sensitivity. I know so many precious mommies-in-waiting with aching hearts and empty arms.
When I am asked this question and I say "not right now" I get a variety of responses: "You'll never be ready, what are you waiting for?", "You'll never be able to "afford them" so don't wait on money", "Oh, but kids are such a blessing!" the very appreciated, "yeah, it's totally fine to wait" and the list goes on.
But I wonder how many women are like me and are just genuinely enjoying life right now, and not wanting for anything more? Contentment. When I say "not right now" I'm not saying not ever. I'm saying that I'm content with being married (oh, so happy) and having a job that I absolutely love, and that children are not a desire for me at this time in life.
Do I like kids? absolutely! I love me some babies and I even have a reputation of "baby hogging" with my friend's kids. Kids of all ages are a blessing (and so hilarious most times too!), but I am just content to not have any of my own at this stage of life.
I've prayed and asked God to put a desire in my heart for children when the timing is right. It's a subject that comes up consistently with David and I. We are open with each other about our desires and constantly in prayer about it. Adoption is something we are always considering and hope to one day do. If I found out tomorrow that I was pregnant, we would be so excited.
Moms - I celebrate and thank God for you! My mommy friends are awesome women. I look at them with fear and trembling because I seriously have no idea how they do it it all and still manage to retain their sanity (although they might question their own sanity from time to time, I'm sure ;D ).
I felt the need to write this because I'm sure that there are more women like me, who maybe need to hear or be reminded that it's okay to not desire children. Or, maybe some people are interested in this perspective from a child-less wife who's okay with it.
I think there have been times where people don't believe me, that perhaps I might be shoving my feelings for children deep in the caverns of my soul for whatever reason. But that just isn't true.
We all have varying stages of life. For me to look at a single person and assume they want to be married because I think marriage is awesome, just isn't fair. God has so many beautiful purposes for people on this planet and they don't all look the same. Some are single, some are married, some raise children, some work, others stay home, etc. We need to love and support one another in whatever stage of life we are in.
Life is a wild ride. But in supporting and loving each other through the stages, we can make life so rich, experience so much contentment and have a life that is full to the brim, no matter what. Love is what we need.
Take a look at the people you hold dear - how can you relate to and support them in the stage of life they are currently in? What might you be assuming about them?
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