I'm going to lay this out bluntly here, sometimes when I'm in the Word and spending time with God I feel as though I'm watching paint dry. I'm not impacted, impressed, changed, or exhorted. I walk away the same as I came. Why is that? Can you relate? Today, my perspective on this changed, probably forever.
I was reading in Matthew starting in Chapter 5 this morning with a regular ol' piece of college ruled paper by my side. I thought to myself, "okay, whatever comes to my mind as I read, I'm going to write it down: verses, convictions, thoughts about the Person of God....anything." As I was doing this, I realized something: If I'm coming unengaged, then I will leave unchanged. When I looked at Bible engaged in what it said (not just reading it like the newspaper), the words came alive. My paper is practically FULL of prayers, convictions and praises for who God is, questions about the world and how stinkin' hard it is to live in it - things like that. Think about it, if you are married or have a best friend, do you sit down with them and just wait for them to say something meaningful or interesting? Or do you rather engage in the conversation - starting and ending some, adding to comments, sharing thoughts or ideas? Yeah, sounds more like spending time with someone doesn't it? If I sat on the couch with my husband and was completely unengaged- just spending time with him because I knew it was a good thing (or something I'm supposed to do), there wouldn't be much of a relationship there. If you are saying to yourself "Well duh, girly"then be patient with me, I'm a little slow at times. ;)
I believe the same is true of our relationship with our Husband, Christ. He wants to talk to us, in other words - He is not the problem! But if we come to Jesus with our left over energy, what will we be in a position to hear? Sometimes that's a great place, because we are empty and He alone can fill us, but our hearts have to be in a position to be filled. When they are not, we get the "watching paint dry" feeling. So in a sense, "Someone is knocking, but nobody is home." Well, I hear the Knocker now and I'm excited for this new chapter in my time in the Word to begin!
If you have the "watching paint dry feeling" would you consider grabbing a piece of paper and spending time in God's Word engaged? Maybe you already know of this secret and you have other thoughts about engaging in God's Word- please leave a comment - I'd love to have this conversation.
Sometimes it's the simple "Ah-ha!" moments that can really make a large change in our spiritual life. I thank God for his never ending patience with me.
Encouraged,
R
